…one of those people

sometimes i think i should maybe probably be doing something, instead of nothing,

like i see a lot different people on the street doing everytime i happen to be out doing something out there…on the the street…

and then i remember its really hard to think of different things to come up with to do just in general and especially outside on the streets where other people seem to be doing things a lot. i have to think real hard about things i can do personally in my personally and quite limited and frankly quite humiliating station in life to do…personally. things that would ideally require i be out on the streets with these other people i sometimes see outside on the streets doing things.

i don’t own a dog so i cant do that. i own a cat. i can try to make my cat get interested in taking cat walks but i dont think she will appreciate this. i am a fat man and dont like sport. i sweat a lot. some might say i should try sport for the exact reason of being fat and to lose some weight.

i have crossed sport off my list.

a day later i have down a list of YESs and MAYBEs and NOs:


find physically attractive woman out on street. have sexual relations with this woman

throw firecrackers at children in the park

run when childrens parents come and are angry about the firecrackers


do a vertical jump. just one.

pretend to have a somewhat flamboyant mustache but not have a mustache at all. ask young women if they will like to stroke it.

kidnap a white cat. release white cat somewhere. no one gets hurt.

threaten to punch a woman in the face but immediately let her know i am joking point to a robins nest across the street say your on the candid camera or howie do-it or some shit and we both laugh. run before cops arrive.

rob a jewelry story. for real. only a maybe. but return all jewels (with interest) later that evening, (plus sorry note)

rob all jewels from jewelry store again following night plus interest. leave sorry note.

rob jewelry store of sorry note next night.

change mind. break into jewelry store following night, leave sorry note.

get arrested.

do 30 to life.

out in 27 years on good behavior.

decide not to do jewelry store thing after all.

have dinner with Karl Malden.

have sexual relations with Karl Malden.

move have sexual relations with Karl Malden to ‘Nos’ list IMMEDIATELY

find out cannot move have sexual relations with Karl Malden to ‘No’s’ list. contemplate suicide.

google Karl Marlden

find out Karl Marlden is dead

experience great relief do not have to have homosexual relations with famed star of stage and screen Karl Marlden

find out Karl Marlden played the lead in the original made for TV version of favorite movie Marty starring Ernest Borgnine

become filled with rage for having been mislead for so many yeas. decide to book a trip to LA to take out Ernest Borgnine.

arrive in LA. find out Ernest Borgnine has also passed. also find it it was Rod Steiger who originally portrayed Marty on the teleplay ‘Marty’ which eventually became favorite film Marty.

remember Rod Steiger was a dick to his brother in On the Waterfront.

on NOs list, decide to definitely not never try to never not ever don’t apologize to own brother for some stuff you did. hes a contender. thats not the problem. youre a dick because youre not a contender. on NOs list decide not to never stop continuing to keep putting off being better buy.

and also dont pay attention to gluten


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